Tuesday, 4 January 2011

Me no bubblicious

So it's here!  It's 2011 and we have kissed under the mistletoe Adieu to 2010! Every year I tell myself that I will not cry on New Years Eve and every year I, at some point, cry my little eyes out!  I can't actually believe how big my tears are! They would drown an ant!  For someone of my size (mind you apres festive season i'm not sure about my size any more) my tears would quite literally fill a River. Bouble, Timberlake and all those others who sang about crying a river !! Well, eat your heart out!  I've cried a river, but over what I don't really know!

Every Years Ending, a nostalgic, sentimental Jenni appears.  I know that some of you hate New Year, well I happen to like it! I had my party tickets booked and all my friends booked in advance, we were keeping it local – we were keeping it girly and we were keeping it Fun!

I left Wales on New Years Eve morning with five crammed packed exciting looking bags with sparkle and new presents! I treated myself to a Taxi from the station and then a trip to the hairdressers... Personally I think £35 for a blow-dry is just a tad on the “Rip Off” side – but in Festive new Year Stylee I paid it without batting an eye lid, but mentally crossing off the Resolution list that I was to have a blow-dry at least every week or every time my hair needed washing. What a silly resolution, time to think some up some more “realistic” ones!

The girls came round and The Bubbles were going down a treat. I had Feathers, (yes of course Pink ones) and the theme of the night was Victorian Circus... Think Lion Tamers, men in Victorian swim suits, lions, clowns, strong men..... We did the auld Lang syng thing, the prosecco was drunk and Fun was had! What a night and indeed an end to the year! The Midnight hours struck and I hadn't even cried once! It was on my return home that the realisation kicked in. Christmas had gone, I'd eaten a Mcdonlads, holidays over and January was here! That's what caused those tears to stream down my bbq sauce cheeks!

My 2010 was a real life changing one and so being on the verge of a whole new year, in truth, rocks my apple cart a little. After a few glasses of bubbles, I can go one of two ways! Either, I dream more and think the world is my oyster – or I become over whelmed and ponder about life itself. We all have our inner demons, whether we admit it or not – I blame it not on boogie but on the Bubbles!

If I write here all that I want to achieve in 2011, it would become a long list and would be dull. Then if I didn't achieve it all, you'd all know about it too – so I'll keep my list under my hat! I've reflected, paused for thought and what I conclude is this :

Your 20's are fine to party and be in a not always a perfect relationship, to just earn money for the foreseeable future, to go with the flow a little more, you can afford to loose a few days along the way – well that's what I always told myself back then. I'm finding the 30's a little more daunting in truth.

This is is the time that you have to push your career and most importantly, make money from it. It's the time when you can not afford to waste a day, partly due to the pressure you put on yourself. I want to have a family of my own and I am beginning to feel the hands on the clock ticking all too fast. I wish they'd slow down - I need a boyfriend first and that's a problem in itself because I am loving being single.

At this stage in my life, I really need to get out of my system all of the things that in another decade I couldn't have done or just might not be able to do. Or maybe not – age I know, is just a mere number.  Do you remember being 18 and saying “Ooh by the time I'm 30...”?

Well I do and if I was all that I had said I would be, then I would officially be Super Woman. Id be Rich, successful, own 3 houses, one in Wales, London and new York, have a dog, have the man of my dreams and have 2 gorgeous children (and have a real expensive “Elizabeth Duke” wedding ring from the Argos catalogue!) Oh, yes, I spent many a night flicking through that catalogue, I even knew the page number off by heart for that fictional, non existent man to buy a classy 18c gold ring for my finger!

So, it's time to move the goal posts. The age I mean !! What did I know at 18! Well, clearly I had ambition but I didn't have the time factor of how long things actually take. What I wanted at 18 is still what I want now (okay the last one needs some revision !) and some of my predictions have come true! I mean, I sometimes feel like superwoman, balancing all of my jobs and taking time to socialise too and having a super shoe collection – does that count?

I rent a gorgeous London flat and have our family house in Wales so its just the New York one now (oh and buying my London one) Don't yet have my dog, though with my girly ski holiday booked and lack of time would I really want to walk him in the rain? No children either, but i'm thinking looking after me is about all I can handle. I've not yet made all my pounds and what is success? Cos in my mind – I have achieved wonderful things!

Even though I have thought up more wants and desires, I have decided that I am just not going to attach a time line to them.  This would be foolish of me.  Whilst I will be focused, I will also be realistic.  I will continue to live in the moment wherever that takes me, but I will pick my moments carefully and don't worry, I've not given up on having “that” ring bought for either….  Maybe just not the Argus one!  No offence Mrs. Duke!

So, 2011 will be a good, productive year for us all!  I cant promise now that I won't cry when New Years Eve come around (all too soon) again and in truth I quite like a good old fashioned cry!  What I can promise, is that at the end of this year, I will be one year nearer to those 18 year old dreams!

Happy New Year to you All and keep dreaming x

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